Destructor of Destruction
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: Thanks to Dick, Tim has a problem. This problem comes in the form of a black labrador retriever.


Tim didn't like getting phone calls early in the morning. He liked them even less when the person on the other line gave him little to no information, and he absolutely hated it when the caller was Dick. Not because he didn't like it when Dick called, but because he had no idea what to expect. The phone call he had gotten this particular morning was one of those short, no information, worrisome calls. Dick had told Tim to meet him at his place...alone, and not to involve anyone else. Dick had also said that he had a problem but not to worry about it because it wasn't anything serious, but no matter what, any time that Dick had ever told Tim not to worry, that was the first thing that Tim did.

Tim walked into Dick's place to find it completely dark. He reached out for the light switch, but when Tim stepped to the side, he slipped on something. Tim reached down and found ripped up papers. Slowly, he made his way through what was once the living room. The place was completely trashed. He kept falling over torn up objects in the dark. "Ow," Tim shouted as he fell over what felt like a broken broom handle.

"Tim, is that you?" Dick's voice was just above a whisper.

Tim stood up again and continued on his way to the other side of the room. "Yeah…Dick, where are you?"

"I'm over here." Dick made a large motion with his arms, even though Tim couldn't really see it in the dark. "Did you come alone?"

"Yeah, what is this all about?" Tim continued to try to follow Dick's voice.

"I need your help." Dick whispered.

Tim had made it past the couch, but slipped again on some more torn up papers. "Well, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't willing to give it. What's up?" He spoke as he scrambled to his feet again.

"Shhh, keep your voice down." Dick hissed at him.

Tim was starting to get worried...well, more worried. "Dick, what's wrong?"

"It's a long story." Dick sounded absolutely exhausted and rundown.

"Dick?" Tim questioned as he made it around Dick's broken end table.

"Shhh…think covert, Robin." Dick growled at him.

Tim immediately froze at that. "Dick, you're creeping me out. What's going on?"

Dick motioned for Tim to keep moving. "Come here."

Tim groped around in the dark as he mentally chastised himself for not being better at getting around Dick's place without night vision--but in his defense, there was a lot of debris on the floor. Still, he was going to have to do something about that later. "What?"

"Shhh," Dick hissed at him again. "The holy terror is sleeping."

Tim was glad Dick couldn't see his facial expression at that. "The what is what?"

Dick finally picked up a knocked over lamp, put it on the floor upright, and turned it on as he pointed to the ground, where a medium sized black labrador retriever was laying on its side, sleeping. "That, my dear friend, is the holy terror."

Tim stared at Dick in disbelief. "You called me over here about a sleeping dog?"

Dick held up his hands in the air defensively. "Dude, do you see what it did to my place? I need back-up…or something."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you certainly need something…a brain perhaps? And I actually didn't think it was any different from normal."

Dick glared at him. "I am normally not this messy, and shut up."

Tim laughed. "Um…actually…you kinda are."

Dick's glare intensified. "I find that I'm repeating myself…shut up, Timmy."

Tim turned around to leave. "And I find myself walking away."

Dick reached out and grabbed his shoulder firmly. "Tim, wait, I'm sorry, but you can't just leave me here with it. It's like the destructor of destruction."

Tim removed Dick's hand from his shoulder as he spun around to face him again. "Okay, first off, why did you bring it home with you? We run across strays all of the time. And second, the destructor of destruction?"

Dick glared at him again. "I did not bring it home with me. It was sitting outside my door when I got back from the store. When I opened the door it walked in and refused to leave. And have you not seen my place?"

Tim laughed again. "Okay, refused to leave? It's a dog, not a squatter. And about your place…you do know you can't actually be allergic to cleaning, right?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well it'd be a lot easier to deal with it if it was a squatter. And what the hell do you mean by that?" He suddenly looked quite angry.

Tim held up his hands defensively. "Nothing, nothing at all…so, what do you want me to do about your dog situation?"

Dick shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you could take it for awhile. I don't really have time to take care of a dog."

Tim stared at him as though he was crazy. "What? And I do? Hi, maybe you forgot, but you usually have more free time than I do. Take it to the pound."

Dick shook his head. "I can't. It probably belongs to someone nearby, but most of my neighbors went out of town for the holidays."

Tim began to rub his temples. "Did it have a collar, or tags, or anything?"

"No, but it's pretty obvious that it's regularly groomed and its claws are clipped on a regular basis." Dick grasped Tim's shoulder again. "Look, it's just until after New Years, and it's not like you have classes or anything until after then, anyway."

Tim threw his hands up in the air out of frustration. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Please." Dick dragged out the word.

Tim started pacing in front of Dick, kicking objects out of his way as he went. "Ugh, I'm not really a dog person, you know?"

Dick smirked at that. "You're not a morning person, you're not a dog person, you're not a people person, are you sure you're a person at all?"

Tim stopped pacing to stare at Dick. "What? And none of us are morning people."

"Nothing." Dick took an involuntary step back when he saw Tim's glare.

"Right, well, have fun with your dog problem." Tim turned to go once again.

"Tim" Dick grabbed him again. "Pretty, pretty please."

Tim rolled his eyes as he removed Dick's hand again. "Ugh, fine, if it'll make you shut up."

Dick clapped his hands together, almost excitedly. "Alright, here you go. He's already eaten all of my junk mail, two pairs of my shoes, three containers of rice from my Chinese take out, and he chewed through one of my Nightwing boots, so he'll be out for awhile."

Tim stared at him blankly. There was something to be said for the degree of difficulty. "So, I get the pleasure of taking this dog off your hands and I get to carry it back with me?"

"Um…" Dick trailed off not sure what to say.

Tim began to rub his temples. Why did it always seem that the task of fixing other people's problems always fell to him? "You do realize I brought the bike, right? I mean, dog…bike…mixing well…not really."

"Um…" Dick supplied again, still not really sure what to say.

Tim rolled his eyes again. This was getting old. "Ugh, just give me the dog. I'll make it work."

Dick smirked as he shook his head. "You know, you can just leave the bike, let me drive you, and come back for it later."

Tim stared at him dryly. "Yeah, see that's what we call helpful."

Dick glared at him. "Hey, I don't need the attitude, kid."

Tim looked down at the ground sheepishly. "Sorry, but in all fairness you did wake me up 15 minutes after I fell asleep."

Dick placed a hand on Tim's shoulder. "Oops, sorry…my bad."

Tim glared back at him as he removed Dick's hand from his shoulder. "Ya think?"

Dick shrugged. "Um, stuff happens?"

"Right, so do you want to help me get that thing" Tim pointed to the sleeping dog, "into your car?"

Dick stared at him wryly. "It's a dog. You can, in fact, call it a dog."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"If this is going to be a problem…" Dick stopped talking the moment he saw the death glare Tim was giving him.

Tim grabbed the front of the unconscious dog. "You already got me to agree to this. Don't give me the option to opt out now."

Dick shrugged as he grabbed the other side of the dog. "Well, as long as you're sure."

Tim grunted as they started walking towards the door. "You know, as soon as we get this thing into your car, I'm going to hit you as hard as I can in the head."

Dick raised an eyebrow at him as he led the way to the car. "Should you really be telling me your evil plans?"

Tim rolled his eyes again. "I like to give fair warnings to the morons I deal with daily."

"Ouch, little brother." Dick gave Tim a hurt look. "Note to self--waking you is bad for my health."

Tim stared at him with a blank facial expression. "Yeah, I would say so."

The two of them got the unconscious dog into the car, and silently drove back to the manor. As the two of them lifted the dog out of the car and headed to Tim's room, Dick began to laugh. Tim, on the other hand, couldn't find anything even remotely entertaining about the situation. "And what, pray tell, is so damn funny?"

Dick's laughter died down slightly. "I was just thinking of Alfred's face when he finds this in your room."

Tim shook his head. "Yeah, I'm just leaving a note telling him to talk to you."

Dick gave him a curious look. "And where do you think you'll be?"

Tim sighed heavily as they placed the dog down in the corner of the room. "I told you, Dick. I don't have time to watch the thing every second. I'll feed it and what not, but I've got other things to do as well."

Dick gave Tim a false sympathetic look as he patted Tim on the back. "Um, yeah, good luck with that."

Tim glared at him. "Yeah, no thanks to you."

Dick held up his hands in the air defensively. "Hey, I would if I could, but…"

Tim interrupted him before he could even give some lame excuse. "Just go. I want to get some sleep before my life gets even more complicated this week."

"Tim…" Dick trailed off not really sure what to say.

Tim gave him a small nod. "I'm good, really."

"Okay." Dick shut the door behind him as he walked out of the room.

Tim sat down on the bed and let his gaze fall onto the sleeping dog in the corner. "Alright dog, if you chew anything in this room, I swear I'll find out exactly what a nerve strike does to you." Tim settled back on the bed with a book and slowly drifted to sleep.

When Tim awoke it was to a wet feeling on his face. He turned over to see large teeth coming out of the darkness. "Oh, that's great. You're awake, and licking my face. Do I even want to turn on the light and see how much you've destroyed while I slept?"

Tim got up, turned on the light, and looked around. He was surprised to only find one book half eaten. "Oh, good Dick owes me a new copy of The Time Traveler's Wife. Stupid dog…well, come on I should do that whole feeding you thing."

Tim walked out of the room with the dog close behind him. He got to the kitchen gave the dog a plate of leftover chicken and sat at the table with his cup of coffee.

Bruce walked into the kitchen and just stared at the scene that greeted him. "Tim, what is that?"

Tim didn't even look up from his coffee. "A large problem and an even bigger headache courtesy of Dick. Talk to him about it. I'm going to take this dumb thing outside." Tim didn't even give Bruce a chance to respond before he got up, patted his leg, and walked out with the dog following him.

Tim was walking around outside with the dog for awhile when all of a sudden, in the middle of a step, the dog stopped and started barking at a tree. "It's just the wind rustling the leaves. Would you calm down?" Tim walked over and patted the dog's head until it finally settled down. "Are you ready to go inside yet? It's cold out here." Tim wrapped his thin sweater around himself a bit tighter. "Better question, when am I going to stop talking to you like you're a person and waiting for responses." Tim hung his head as he sighed and headed back inside with the dog trailing behind him once again.

Tim entered his room, shut the door, and headed for his laptop. He was just about to sit down and start working on some reports when the dog began to bark and he realized he had left the thing in the hallway. He walked over, opened the door, and just stared blankly at it sitting before him for a moment. "Sorry about that. I forgot you were there." Tim watched as the dog trotted into his room, climbed onto his bed, and curled up on his pillow. Tim shut the door with another exasperated sigh. "Do you have to lay there? You're getting your fur everywhere. And again, I find myself speaking to you like you're a human." Tim shook his head as he turned back towards his work.

Hours later Tim was interrupted half way through his last report by a gnawing sound, and turned to find the dog chewing on his pillow. "Ugh, you're so stupid. Stop that." Tim got up, grabbed the pillow off the dog, and hit him with it gently before throwing the pillow to the floor and heading to his closest. After a few moments of rummaging through the bottom of his closet, Tim came back holding something. "Here, chew on this." Tim gave the dog a shoe. "It's one of Dick's anyway. He let me borrow it when…and I'm talking to you again. Okay, time for Timmy to go see a man about some caffeine."

Tim left the dog sitting on his bed, chewing the shoe, and headed for the kitchen again. "Stupid animal…" He muttered to himself as he walked into the kitchen.

Alfred turned and raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything.

Tim stared down at the floor sheepishly. "Sorry, Alfred. I'm sure you already know about the dog in my bedroom. It won't be here long. It's all Dick's fault, and…" Tim trailed off not really sure what other excuses to give.

"I'm sure you're taking excellent care of the creature, Master Timothy." Without waiting for a response Alfred left the room.

Tim heaved a large sigh, grabbed something else out of the refrigerator for the dog to eat, and returned to his room. When he reentered his room he found the dog sleeping on his bed with the shoe still in his mouth, and drooling steadily. "Nice, dog…real nice." Tim shoved the dog over and laid down on the other side of the bed as he grabbed the book he had been reading earlier. Every so often, the dog would move closer to him and Tim would have to push the dog over again to keep from falling on the floor. Eventually, Tim just gave up and sat at his desk to read.

He was nearly finished with the book when he felt something wet on his ankle. Tim looked down to find the dog chewing on the shoe currently on his foot, and slobbering all over his sock. He nudged his foot a little, but the dog didn't move. "Hey, stop that! That's my foot in there. Stop gnawing on me, you stupid beast. Hey, quit pulling on my sock. Don't lick my ankle. Ew, that's gross. Stop it!" Tim quickly pulled his foot away, but the dog had bit down onto his shoe, so when he pulled his foot away the dog just came with it. "Let me go." Tim shook his foot around, but the dog just held on. "I swear, I'm going to hit you in the head with my book if you don't let go." Suddenly the dog's jaws released his shoe. "Note to self, get you a chew toy." Tim took off his shoe to look at the damage. There were a few bite marks, but nothing too bad. He took off the wet sock and threw it in his dirty clothes pile. "You're really gross, you know that?" Tim gave the dog the food that he had brought up earlier. "Here, eat while I go remove your slobber from my foot, stupid dog."

Tim walked back into his room after washing his foot, and just stared at the sight that greeted him. "Okay, look dog--this just isn't going to work for me. You're nice and all, but you are not sitting there. I'm not even sure how you got up there in the first place, but that's just not going to happen. Get down now." Tim pointed to the floor. "I mean it. Get off of my desk right this minute. You can get down the same way you got up there. I assume you climbed up on my chair and then jumped onto the desk, so you can just climb right back down." The dog simply stared at him. "You can't, can you? You got yourself up there and now you're stuck, aren't you?

Tim shook his head as he walked over, picked up the dog, and put it on the floor. "Stick to the ground from now on, huh?" Tim patted the dog's head lightly. "Yeah, good boy…go sit…somewhere else." The dog just laid down on his foot. "How sweet…now, get off." Tim pulled his foot out from underneath the dog and left the room…for some reason he really needed to go hit something.

Tim went down to the cave to find a punching bag to take his frustrations out on. He spent hours punching and kicking the bag as hard as he could until something broke his concentration. He heard a loud bark and turned around to find the dog sitting behind him. "What are you doing down here? How did you get out of my room?"

Bruce stepped out of the shadows and glared at him. "It was up there barking nonstop for a solid hour."

Tim looked down to the ground sheepishly. "Oh, my bad, sorry. I didn't realize how long I was down here."

Bruce grunted and left the cave. Tim quickly turned back to the dog. "You are far more trouble than you're worth, you know that? I should just take you back to Dick." Tim hung his head slightly as he turned back to the punching bag.

After about ten minutes Tim was interrupted once again by the sound of something scraping against the cave floor he turned around to see the dog dragging something. "Oh, yeah, chew on the smoke pellets. Yeah, that's such a good idea. Hey, stop it. I swear if you set one of those things off I'm going to…oh, shit." Tim grabbed the dog, and dashed to the other side of the cave as something exploded behind him.

"Not a smoke pellet." Tim coughed as the smoke from the explosion cleared. "Good job, dog." He spoke as he pushed the dog over gently and started checking him over for injuries.

"Tim, what the hell was that?" Dick yelled as he practically ran down the cave steps.

Tim sat down on the floor still coughing slightly. "The dog that you dropped into my lap just bit into an explosive pellet."

Dick knelt down in front of him and placed a hand on Tim's shoulder. "Is he okay? Are you?"

Tim shrugged off the hand as he got to his feet. "Fine…we're both fine."

Dick tried to help Tim up, but Tim just ignored the hand he held out. "Why weren't you watching him more closely?"

Tim didn't say anything in response. Instead, he just glared at Dick like he should know the answer already.

Dick nodded in understanding. "Right, you can't watch him 24/7, but why did you bring him down to the cave at all?"

Tim's glare intensified for a moment. "I didn't. Bruce brought it down here because I left it in my room and it was barking."

Dick gave him a disapproving look. "Why did you just leave him in your room?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "Well, gee Dick, I may have possibly wanted some for real alone time. Not to mention it's a dog, not a baby, I thought it could handle it."

Dick stared down at the dog for a moment. "Obviously not."

Tim walked over to the computer and sat down. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Dick sat down on the ground and started petting the dog. "I came to check up on you and the mutt."

Tim rolled his eyes as he turned toward the computer. "Wonderful, want to take it back with you?"

Dick smiled as he shook his head. "Sorry, no can do, little brother."

Tim stared back at him over his shoulder. "You do realize when this is all over you owe me big, right?"

"Oh, I do?" Dick questioned as he got on all fours and started playing with the dog.

Tim glared at him. "Yeah, and you know it."

Dick rolled his eyes and ignored him. "Anyway, Alfred 'suggested' I take you to go get the dog food and what not. He's apparently tired of his leftovers going missing."

"Uh, yeah, we probably should do that. I guess we should take the mutt with us." Tim glanced down at the dog to make sure it wasn't getting into anything.

"Yeah, I don't think either of us needs to find out what leaving him alone with Bruce would be like." Dick cringed at the thought.

Tim nodded slightly as he thought about it. "Yeah, with our luck Bruce would come down to find it chewing on something much worse than an explosive pellet."

Dick inclined his head slightly. "Too true." Dick started heading for his car, but glanced back to notice Tim grabbing the dog. "Maybe we should get him a leash before we do anything else."

Tim gave him a hard look as he pulled the dog into his arms. "Ya think?"

Dick stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Tim. "Hey, jackass, I'm doing you a favor here."

Tim glared at him as he matched his tone. "Hey, moron, I have this problem because you were doing yourself a favor."

Dick rolled his eyes before continuing to the car. "Does Timmy need a nap?"

Tim growled at him as he heaved the dog into a better position in his arms. "Timmy needs to kick your ass."

Dick helped Tim get the dog into the car and slammed his door shut after climbing into the driver's seat. "Yeah, yeah, we'll get you some caffeine on the way. Maybe you'll stop being so bitchy.

Tim snarled as he got in on the passenger side. "Whatever makes you feel better, princess."

Dick reached out and slapped the back of Tim's head before starting the engine. "I don't know what you're problem is, but you better cool it before I just leave you somewhere."

Tim made a face at him, which Dick only caught out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, but then you'd be stuck with that dog."

Dick rolled his eyes and really wanted to rub his temples. "I swear, I'll just leave it with you on the side of the road if you continue."

Tim slumped in his seat and sulked in silence for awhile while they drove. Suddenly Dick stopped the car. "What are you doing?"

Dick stared at him as though the answer was obvious. "I was serious about the coffee run."

Tim shrugged as he watched Dick leave in the side mirror. When Dick still wasn't back after five minutes Tim decided to curl up and take a small nap. He awoke two minutes later to the dog licking his face. Before he even opened his eyes he reached a hand up to wipe off his face. "Why are you so gross? Seriously, my face…back off." Tim pushed the dog away and sat up while he waited for Dick to return.

When Dick finally came back his shirt was soaked. "That was ridiculous."

Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "What happened?"

Dick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "The line was like ten feet long, I finally got your damn coffee and some guy fell into me and got it all over me. Did I mention it was freakin' hot? Burned like hell, and then the lady at the counter made me wait at the end of the line again just to get you a new cup of coffee because it wasn't her fault." Dick shook his head as he passed Tim the cup he was holding. "Here…hope it was worth the second degree burns."

Tim sheepishly took the cup. "Sorry...and you're just exaggerating about the second degree burns…right?"

Dick reached under Tim's seat to get the bag that he kept there with an extra set of clothes in it. "Yeah, I'm fine…I smell like coffee, but I'm fine."

Tim took a sip from his cup. "Good, and thanks."

Dick started the car again, once he had finished changing his shirt. "Yeah, let's get to the pet store before anything else happens."

Tim nodded in agreement. "If it makes you feel any better I tried to fall asleep and the mutt started licking me immediately."

Dick smiled slightly. "He likes you…I can't imagine why, but he likes you."

"Thanks." Tim muttered as he stared down at his cup.

Dick rolled his eyes at him. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. You know I…"

Tim interrupted him before Dick could say anything more. "I know, don't worry about it."

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, at least until Dick looked into his rearview mirror to see the dog chewing on the back seat. "Hey, down…down…don't do that." The dog completely ignored him as he tore through the seat.

Dick continued to yell at the dog, which accomplished nothing. Tim, on the other hand, had a headache and was getting fed up with it. "Enough both of you!" Tim turned in his seat to scowl at the dog. "You, sit and stop that." The dog immediately laid down, and Tim turned his attention back to Dick. "You, shhh and drive." Tim slumped back into his seat and curled in on himself. His head was killing him.

Dick was astonished by what just happened. "How did you do that?"

Tim uncurled himself slightly and looked up at Dick. "How did I do what?"

Dick glanced at Tim before returning his gaze to the road. "How did you get the dog to stop?"

Tim shrugged. "I don't know. He's bored. The last time he was doing something like that I just tossed him one of your shoes."

"Oh," Dick thought about that for a second before continuing, "wait, you did what?"

"Nothing…oh, look here we are." Tim sat up and opened the car door before Dick could say anything. "I think we should get him some chew toys too."

Dick got out and followed Tim into the store…leaving the dog in the car with the windows opened slightly. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were becoming attached to this dog."

Tim stopped and turned to Dick. "Why would I get attached to it? It smells, it barks, it tears things up, it gets into all kinds of trouble, and to top it off, when your neighbors come back, it's going back."

Dick shrugged and continued to walk. "I don't know."

Tim headed to the chew toys. "Yeah, well I do."

Dick sighed to himself as he followed Tim. "Okay, whatever you say." Dick was silent for a moment before he picked up a green ball. "What do you think of this?"

Tim eyed the ball suspiciously. "Does it squeak?"

Dick squeezed the ball. "Yeah."

"Then no." Tim continued down the isle until he found a suitable toy. He picked up a yellow duck. "No squeak or any other obnoxious noises…looks good enough. I think we found a winner." Tim tossed the toy into the cart and headed for the food. "I think we should get him something for adult dogs' nutrition…thoughts?"

Dick hummed an affirmative. "Yeah, sounds good. You do that while I go find the little monster a leash."

"Make sure it's a decent length and strong…I'd go for a chain leash…you saw what he did to your apartment." Tim tossed over his shoulder as he walked away.

The two of them gathered everything they thought they would need, and met back at the front of the store. "Fair warning, you are helping me lug all of this stuff down to the dog shelter after the little terror is returned to his proper owner."

Dick nodded, but didn't say anything. When the two of them got back to the car they found the dog sleeping in the driver's seat. "Aw, isn't he cute." Dick spoke as he unlocked the door.

Tim rolled his eyes at him. "Oh, yeah, just so damn cute. Wait until you have to move the beast."

Dick raised an eyebrow at that. "Who said I was moving him?"

Tim moved to the other side of the car to start loading the stuff they bought into the back. "You're the one driving, and besides I'm busy putting the other stuff into the car."

Dick sighed as he carefully grabbed the dog. "Man, he is deceptively heavy."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, I know." Tim found the bag that had a bright blue collar in it and tossed it to Dick. "Put that on him while you're back there."

Dick caught the collar easily and maneuvered it around the sleeping dog's neck. "I thought dogs were supposed to have great hearing and wake up all excited when someone came by."

Tim shrugged as he climbed into the front seat. "I guess we just aren't exciting enough to be graced by his attention. Not that I'm overly saddened by that, or anything."

Dick laughed as he got into the drivers seat. "Yeah, I hear you. So have you figured out what to call it yet?"

Tim stared at him for a moment completely confused. "What are you talking about? I just call it dog."

Dick shook his head at him. "Are you serious? Shouldn't you come up with something a bit…I don't know…nicer to call him? I mean, I know we don't know its name or anything but it just seems harsh to call him dog all the time."

Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "Why? I'm not keeping him. I have no reason to become attached to the mangy thing, and he _is_ a dog."

"Okay, so what happens if we don't find the owner? Then what, Tim?"

Tim gave him a look as though that was simple. "If we don't find the owner then I'm taking it to the pound."

Dick glanced at him almost sadly as he started the car again. "Tim, it's a dog."

Tim raised an eyebrow at him again. "What's your point?"

"Well, it's a cute, fuzzy, warm, and cuddly animal. You don't even think you might want to keep him if you don't find the owner."

Tim shook his head hard. "No."

"Why?"

"He's loud, needy, obnoxious, gets into everything, chews on anything, drools, and generally smells."

Dick didn't say anything, but that was mostly because he didn't know what to say. Tim was cold, even to animals, apparently. Dick had seen Tim go back to a scene to rescue animals, or take the abandoned ones to shelters and what not before, but he had never seen him act like this with one. It was a little unnerving.

When they got back to the manor, Dick suggested that Tim take the dog out for a walk around the grounds while he unloaded the stuff from the car. After Dick finished finding a place for everything, he threw himself into a chair in the kitchen and cradled a warm cup of coffee. Alfred paused in what he was doing to see Dick looking rather blue. "Is something wrong, Master Dick?"

Dick sighed before turning to face Alfred. "I think I screwed up, Alfred. I think this whole plan may have been just one giant mistake."

Alfred set down a plate of cookies in front of Dick. "I'm sure if you give it time, everything will work itself out."

Dick shook his head before taking a bite of a cookie. "I really don't think so, Alfred. He just seems to hate the thing. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered."

"I'm sure Master Timothy with warm up to his new friend."

Dick scoffed at that. "I doubt it, especially since he doesn't know it's his new friend yet."

Alfred raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything.

"I may have told him that it was one of my neighbor's dogs to get him to take it."

Alfred's eyebrow rose a little higher, but still he remained silent.

"What? I didn't want him to feel obligated to take the dog and love it just because I gave it to him. I mean, I wanted him to grow to like it on his own, but that really doesn't seem possible. He doesn't seem like a dog person at all. Maybe I should have gone with a cat, but I thought a dog would be good for him. I mean, he just seems so lonely."

Before Alfred could respond, Tim came stomping into the kitchen covered in something that looked an awful lot like red and green paint. He glared at Dick as red and green dripped from his hair and down his face. "I know it was you. It's always you, and I just want you to know that I'm not going to yell. I just want to know why on earth you had red and green paint in the cave." He tried to pull his shirt away from his skin, but it was too paint-logged, and it made a wet slapping sound when he released it again. "And sparkly glitter as well."

Dick was trying extremely hard not to laugh and look sheepish at the same time, and it wasn't really working. "No reason. What happened?"

Tim's glared intensified for a moment. "After our walk around the grounds I decided to bring the dog in through the cave. I thought I could clean his feet easier--that way he wouldn't trek dirt all through the manor. But that infernal beast decided it would be a good idea to drag me through paint and glitter. I look like some poorly designed Christmas decoration, and I'm sure you'll be happy to know that the cave floor looks very festive."

Dick really couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "I'm sorry; I'll clean it up for you, but you are rather sparkly; and despite the death glare you're giving me, it's really funny."

Tim folded his arms over his chest and scowled at the feel of his paint-saturated clothing. "Well, I'm glad you think this is just so damn laughable, because I'm making you give the dog a bath. He's all paint and glitter-ific, as well. Have fun, Dick."

Tim turned to go, but Alfred halted him. "Master Timothy, surely you do not intend to get paint all over the manor."

Dick stood up and walked over to Tim. "It's okay, Alfred. I'll clean that up too, so that way Tim doesn't have to strip in the middle of the kitchen."

Tim shook his head, and was disgusted with the way his hair stuck to his face. "No, Alfred's right. It's better if I just take this stuff off here." Tim sighed to himself as he struggled with his shirt, and tried very hard not to get paint all over the kitchen. Then he removed his pants. He had left his shoes and socks outside in the grass before he had walked into the kitchen. Tim hadn't enjoyed the walk around manor after he had already done so today. Especially with how cold it was outside. He was pretty sure the paint had started to freeze a little while he was outside. Tim stood in the kitchen in nothing but his boxers as he tried to get his hair to stop dripping. Dick handed him a paper towel, and once he was sure that he wasn't going to drip on anything, Tim headed upstairs to shower.

Dick bent down to gather Tim's clothes, but Alfred stopped him. "Master Dick, it might be better if you dealt with the mess downstairs. I'll dispose of these."

Dick gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Alfred." He quickly headed downstairs, not wanting a repeat of the explosive pellet incident from earlier.

When Dick got to the cave, the dog was just lying at the foot of the stairs, and Dick quickly decided that red and green paint topped with glitter wasn't nearly as funny on a black lab as it was on Tim. Dick could just tell that he was not going to enjoy bathing the dog, but he figured that could wait until after he cleaned up the cave floor. Dick took a second to actually examine the floor. He could clearly see streaks of paint from where the dog had quite literally dragged Tim. There were paw prints leading through and all around the mess, and there were splatter marks that were clearly from the dog shaking its paint soaked coat out. He sighed to himself as he got to work on cleaning up the mess left by the destructive duo. It didn't matter if it was mostly the dog's fault. Tim was involved, and that made them a duo in Dick's eyes.

After his shower Tim returned to the cave to help Dick clean up the mess. He pretty much figured there was no way Dick had managed to clean up the entire cave floor and bathe the dog in such a short time period. He walked down the cave steps, making sure to be absolutely silent. Tim didn't want to wake the dog if, by some miracle, it was still sleeping. When he reached the bottom of the steps, Tim was quite surprised to see no traces of paint or glitter on the cave floor. He was about to head back upstairs to find Dick when he noticed the sound of Dick's voice coming from the cave showers. Tim rolled his eyes, because it should have been obvious to him that Dick had decided to bathe the dog down here, and it should have been equally obvious that Dick would be talking to the dog as he bathed him. When Tim got closer to the showers he could actually hear what Dick was saying.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about this, buddy. It turns out I'm more of an idiot than normal. See, Tim, he's a really great kid. I mean, really great, but I guess he's just not a dog person…or really an anything person. So, after New Years I'm going to have to take you back to the shelter that I got you from. See, I thought you would help him, because while Tim's a great kid he's also an extremely lonely kid, but he doesn't seem to want to get attached to anyone or anything anymore. I've got a feeling that's somehow my fault. I don't know, but I feel like, if maybe I could get him to talk--or at least, you know, care--we wouldn't be in this situation. I mean, I can't believe he hasn't even bothered to call you more than dog, but then I guess that's just logical for him. I mean, you're great, really…ugh…dog, but Timmy is just a bit more closed off than I think even a loveable pet like you could fix. Maybe he won't always be like this," Dick scoffed to himself. "Or maybe I'm deluding myself there, but I think you'd be better off with someone who…I don't know…actually wants you."

Tim sighed to himself. Great, so the dog was from Dick, which meant that if he rejected it now, Dick was going to somehow see that as Tim rejecting him. It wasn't his fault. He just wasn't a pet person. Animals were nice and all, but they required a lot of care, care that he wasn't entirely sure that he could make time for. Plus, that dog seemed to be of a special destructive breed. Tim took a deep breath before coming out of his hiding space. "Hey, I came to see how bath time with the mutt is going?"

Dick paused in scrubbing the dog's ears to look at Tim. "Fine, I guess. He doesn't seem to mind it much."

Tim nodded thoughtfully. "Seems like he's actually enjoying it."

Dick smiled a little. "You think so?"

Tim knelt down beside him and started to work the paint out of the dog's fur on his back. "Yeah, he seems relaxed. I thought he'd be trying to get away and stuff. Did you have a hard time trying to get him into the shower?"

Dick shook his head. "Not really. I started the water and stuff first and then just kinda led him into the spray. He seemed to just accept his fate."

Tim laughed a little. "You know, he's going to need more training."

Dick raised an eyebrow at him out of confusion. "What?"

"Well, from what I've seen he understands come, he's getting stop, he's trained to go outside and stuff, but he's going to need to be trained to know what's acceptable behavior around this place and what's not. Not to mention he'll have to be trained to know what type of bat equipment to stay away from, and what plants Alfred will kill him for destroying. It's going to take a lot of work, and I expect your help with that."

Dick smiled at him as he nudged Tim with an elbow. "I take it you heard me."

Tim nodded one, but didn't say anything.

Dick returned to scrubbing the dog's fur. "You're not just keeping the dog because he's from me, are you?" Dick sounded slightly worried.

Tim shook his head. "I don't think it matters if I am."

Dick raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh?"

Tim smirked at him. "I'm sure I'll grow to love him just like I did with everyone else I never expected to have in my life."

Dick smiled brightly back at him. "I'm sure you will, little brother. I'm sure you will."

The End


End file.
